Friday, August 19, 2011

David's prayer...

 18 Then King David went in and sat before the LORD, and he said:    “Who am I, O Sovereign LORD, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far? 19 And as if this were not enough in your sight, O Sovereign LORD, you have also spoken about the future of the house of your servant. Is this your usual way of dealing with man, O Sovereign LORD?
 20 “What more can David say to you? For you know your servant, O Sovereign LORD. 21 For the sake of your word and according to your will, you have done this great thing and made it known to your servant.
 22 “How great you are, O Sovereign LORD! There is no one like you, and there is no God but you, as we have heard with our own ears. 23 And who is like your people Israel—the one nation on earth that God went out to redeem as a people for himself, and to make a name for himself, and to perform great and awesome wonders by driving out nations and their gods from before your people, whom you redeemed from Egypt? 24 You have established your people Israel as your very own forever, and you, O LORD, have become their God.
 25 “And now, LORD God, keep forever the promise you have made concerning your servant and his house. Do as you promised, 26 so that your name will be great forever. Then men will say, ‘The LORD Almighty is God over Israel!’ And the house of your servant David will be established before you.
 27 “O LORD Almighty, God of Israel, you have revealed this to your servant, saying, ‘I will build a house for you.’ So your servant has found courage to offer you this prayer. 28 O Sovereign LORD, you are God! Your words are trustworthy, and you have promised these good things to your servant. 29 Now be pleased to bless the house of your servant, that it may continue forever in your sight; for you, O Sovereign LORD, have spoken, and with your blessing the house of your servant will be blessed forever.”

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Buechner on Wheaton...

"All this to the contrary notwithstanding, it seemed to me that insofar as their resounding motto can be true of any institution, it was true of Wheaton. Literature, history, science, the arts -- as nearly as I could tell, everything that was taught there was taught from the perspective of Christian faith and for the purpose of enriching and deepening that faith. It would be easy to belittle such an approach to education as narrowly limiting and parochial, but I found it moving and refreshing especially when compared to the approach of the great eastern universities that I have had dealings with whose mottos echo a faith that has long since become as obsolete in their scheme of things as the Latin they are written in.

One day I was having lunch with two students who were talking about whatever they were talking about -- the weather, the movies -- when without warning one of them asked the other as naturally as he would have asked the time of day what God was doing in his life. If there is anything in this world I believe, it is that God is indeed doing all kinds of things in the lives of all of us including those who do not believe in God and would have nothing to do with him if they did, but in the part of the East where I live, if anybody were to ask a question like that, even among religious people, the sky would fall, the walls would cave in, the grass would wither. I think the very air would stop my mouth if I opened it to speak such words among just about any group of people I can think of in the East because their faith itself, if they happen to have any, is one of the secrets that they have kept so long that it might almost as well not exist. The result was that to find myself at Wheaton among people who, although they spoke about it in different words from mine and expressed it in their lives differently, not only believed in Christ and his Kingdom more or less as I did but were also not ashamed or embarrassed to say so was like finding something which, only when I tasted it, I realized I had been starving for for years."

(from Telling Secrets)

Sunday, August 14, 2011

2 Corinthians 6:11-13

"We have spoken freely to you,1 Corinthians; our heart is wide open. You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted in your own affections. In return (I speak as to children) widen your hearts also." (ESV) (1. footnote: Greek, "Our mouth is open to you.")

"O [ye] Corinthians, our mouth is open unto you, our heart is enlarged. Ye are not straitened in us, but ye are straitened in your own bowels. Now for a recompence in the same, (I speak as unto [my] children,) be ye also enlarged." (KJV)

"Oh, dear Corinthian friends! We have spoken honestly with you, and our hearts are open to you. There is no lack of love on our part, but you have withheld your love from us. I am asking you to respond as if you were my own children. Open your hearts to us!" (NLT)

America the Beautiful...

Okay, so I've seriously got four other blog post ideas on stickies on my compy right now, just waiting to be written about, but I'm gonna delay them to write about this documentary I just watched called "America the Beautiful." It's on Netflix instant if you wanna check it out. I think every parent and everyone (both men and women) of a suitable age (it's rated R, and there is some mature-ish content in there, plus if you're particularly squeamish it might not be a good idea since you see some plastic surgeries being done) should watch it.

The documentary is about self-image in the United States (focusing primarily on women and girls). Naturally, the media gets quite a lot of attention as well. The documentary covers a lot of ground in its hour and forty-five or so minutes, looking at everything from the rise and fall of a 12-year-old model named Gerren to toxic materials in cosmetics to eating disorders to advertising execs at big companies to airbrushing to plastic surgery and more. In some ways, it seemed like it was covering TOO broad a scope, but all in all, I think it did a fantastic job of giving an *introduction* to all of these different issues that factor into the broader topic of female self-image in America. Because this IS a complex issue. I don't think there's an easy way to solve this problem, and the film doesn't really try to offer one. And it's not really possible to assign blame to one particular party, either. Certainly the media inundates women with very specific standards of what is beautiful and what is not. But so do men. So do parents and other family members. So do friends and peers. And so also women often impose these impossible standards on themselves.

There's a lot I could write about this issue, but I honestly just think everyone reading this should go watch the documentary themselves. I'll highlight one or two interesting pieces before I close, though. First of all, the documentarian interviewed a (Harvard?) sociologist who studied the people of Fiji. When she began studying them, they had their own wonderful culture and their own ideas about what beauty was (for example, larger bodies were appreciated since they were signs of more affluence). In 1995, television came to Fiji. At this point, none of the girls the sociologist studied had ever purged as a form of weight control, but just three years later - three *television-filled* years later - 11% of the girls interviewed had. The United States has had television for about 60 years now.

And now some stats:
-50% of girls between the ages of 11 and 13 see themselves as overweight
-80% of *13-year-olds* have attempted to lose weight
-Approximately 7 million girls and women struggle with eating disorders
-Approximately 1 million boys and men struggle with eating disorders
-As many as 10% of college women suffer from a clinical or nearly clinical eating disorder, including 5.1% who suffer from bulimia nervosa

Anyway, to close, as I already have by facebook, text, chat, phone, etc., let me just say once more: women, you are beautiful, inside and out; and men, you need to take responsibility to tell the women in your life (moms, sisters, friends, significant others, etc.) both NOW and OFTEN that they are beautiful. And they might not believe it at first, because everything a woman faces in this culture tells her that she's not thin enough, not tall enough, not beautiful enough, not curvy enough, not in-shape enough, not tan enough, and just plain not enough, so just keep on telling them.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Brokenness, part two: some thoughts on friendship...

As all two or so of you who read this blog probably know, and as I've mentioned a little bit in previous posts, I think about brokenness pretty often. I guess living in this world, everyone kinda thinks about the concept a lot, if not explicitly in those terms...

I wrote a post back in October about how Jesus redeems the tragedies of life.

But what I've been realizing lately is that a lot of times, we don't really let Him do that (n.b. this isn't to say that I think human beings can actually stop Jesus from doing anything). I guess what I mean is, even though we talk about how God is able to do all things, and we read about some of the miracles He performed in the Bible (total sidebar: I say some of the miracles because, as one of my favorite verses - and, yes, I do say that about, like, 327 different verses - points out, "Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written" (John 21:25)...how crazy and awesome is that?!?...but I digress...), and we even look back on all the miraculous ways He's worked in our own lives, in a lot of ways we still don't expect Him to do great things in our lives. We don't really give Him opportunities to transform our lives so that they look radically different than the rest of the world.

That realization has been hitting me again and again over the past few years, and especially lately. And you know what? I don't want to live like that. I don't want to live a life of saying I believe God can do miracles, but not expecting Him to, or not giving Him every opportunity to do so.

Of course, there is going to be brokenness in life. This world is fallen. But I don't think that means we should act like that's okay. I don't think that means we should settle for living in that brokenness. I don't think we should accept that brokenness as how it's meant to be, because that's simply not the case. I think Satan really tries to make Christians think that we ought to respond the way the rest of the world does to all the broken situations and relationships of life. And, much of the time, I'm afraid we believe him.

I have no words to adequately express how much my heart hurts at that, mourns for that, revolts against that. People, this is NOT how it's supposed to be.

One of the ways in which I feel this most deeply is in broken relationships. Aside from my relationship with God, my relationships with people are the most important thing on this earth to me. And I work hard to keep up with them. Sometimes they ebb and flow, and that's natural, but I try really hard to find time for them even when life gets crazy, because investing in people is both one of my greatest joys and one of my highest priorities.

But there are a few people whose friendship I have lost over the last couple years, and this has honestly been one of the most painful things in the world to me. To know that there is anyone out there to whom I am estranged goes against everything I care about and everything I want to be. Unfortunately, in some cases, I've had to learn that there is only so much I can do. Apparently not everyone shares my beliefs about what friendship is and should be (to quote Augustine, "Well said one of his friend, 'Thou half of my soul:' for I felt that my soul and his soul were 'one soul in two bodies'"...), and apparently not everyone believes that the sacred bond of friendship need never be broken.

This isn't to say that there aren't people I've struggled to be friends with, or times when I've been tempted to throw in the towel. But the thing is...I'm willing to struggle. I think it's okay (not in the sense that it's the way it's supposed to be, but that since we're living in a fallen world, it's going to happen) that it's a struggle sometimes. Some of my dearest friends are the ones with whom I've had the most conflict. But that only works if both people are ultimately willing to stop at nothing in pursuit of the friendship. If one or both people run at the first sign of difficulty, there's not much that can be done.

What really gets to me is when people try to advise me to give up on a difficult friendship (especially when it's a friendship between two Christians). If any of my readers have done this, I'm not condemning you for that, and I do understand that that advice comes from a well-meaning place. Sometimes friendships go through periods during which they are difficult and painful. But I don't think that ever means we should give up on a friendship. I just can't believe that God would EVER have it in His plan for two of His children to remain unrighteous (not in right relationship) with each other.

So here I am, saying it for all of my vast readership to hear: By the grace of God, I will not settle for what the rest of the world accepts as normal. By the grace of God, I will never give up on a friendship, even when it's difficult or painful. By the grace of God, I will never put up with the hardships Satan tries to throw into my relationships without a fight. By the grace of God, I will keep on loving, no matter how the other person treats me.

I believe in the power of God to redeem situations and relationships that to all human understanding are irredeemable.

I believe in the power of God to make broken things beautiful.

More of you and less of me, Jesus.

Friday, March 18, 2011

The Most Important Thing I've Learned in Grad School............

..........is that grad school is pointless. And that music theory is pointless. And that academia is really pointless.

Academia is the kind of thing that wants and tries to consume your life. It has certainly succeeded in doing that to me at various points. It's so easy to get caught up in the busyness of everything - in the work and the deadlines and the constant striving to achieve the next level of proof that you are qualified to do/say anything in your field. But personally, I find that it's these times when I let myself get caught up in academia that I hate it the most. Academia for its own sake is miserable. When I let my life become only about academia, I am miserable and unhappy and generally discontent with life...because it's supposed to be about so much more!

It's at this point that I usually question whether I should even be studying music theory, whether I should be in grad school at all, whether I actually want to pursue a career in an academic field. I still don't know the answer to these questions. But whether or not I remain in academia, these struggles have taught me something which will (hopefully) stick with me no matter what field I pursue - that earthly things, if pursued for their own sake, are unsatisfying and pointless. This isn't to say that I've realized I can't glorify God with music theory, I just have learned that there always needs to be more. That said, I'm still not sure what my future with academia is...whether I'll stick with it or find something else to do...but I do know that regardless, my life will never be all about my career (which is a pretty cool discovery for someone like me who has always thought that my career was super important).

Right now, I feel pretty okay about grad school, and music theory, and being in an academic field. This isn't to say that I don't find them stupid sometimes, but having learned that these things are pointless, I've changed my life to include things that actually mean something. Being in Bible studies and working with the youth group at my church have definitely helped. Taking time to invest in people is good, too. And taking more time to pursue things that will edify me (spiritually, mentally, and emotionally) has really changed my perspective on life. Reading books about things that matter (right now, it's Buechner), spending more time with God, blogging, talking about and studying with friends things that actually have eternal significance...it puts things into the right perspective. And thank God for that.


Speaking of Buechner, in "The Birth," he writes from the perspective of the innkeeper, a wise man, and a shepherd about the birth of Jesus. The innkeeper's perspective fits in with what I've been writing about pretty well...basically, his life is consumed with his work and everything he has to do.

"I speak to you as men of the world," said the Innkeeper. "Not as idealists, but as realists. Do you know what it is like to run an inn--to run a business, a family, to run anything in this world for that matter, even your own life? It is like being lost in a forest of a million trees," said the Innkeeper, "and each tree is a thing to be done. Is there fresh linen on all the beds? Did the children put on their coats before they went out? Has the letter been written, the book read? Is there money enough left in the bank? Today we have food in our bellies and clothes on our backs, but what can we do to make sure that we will have them still tomorrow? A million trees. A million things.
"Until finally we have eyes for nothing else, and whatever we see turns into a thing. The sparrow lying in the dust at your feet--just a thing to be kicked out of the way, not the mystery of death. The calling of children outside your window--just a distraction, an irrelevance, not life, not the wildest miracle of them all. That whispering in the air that comes sudden and soft from nowhere--only the wind, the wind..."
At the end of this section, the innkeeper says,

"But this I do know. My own true love. All your life long, you wait for your own true love to come--we all of us do--our destiny, our joy, our heart's desire. So how am I to say it, gentlemen? When he came, I missed him."

People...we need to make sure we don't miss him. We need to make sure that all of the busyness, all of the million trees in the forest don't make us miss the reason for it all.

Monday, March 7, 2011

God has a plan for my life (and so does Satan)...

It seems like Christians love telling other people that God has a plan for their lives. This is something we particularly like to turn to when things are going bad - it's okay, God has a plan for our lives. He is all-powerful, He is in control, He is going to work everything out for the good of those who love Him. He is working in our lives, and He can do amazing things. And this is true. And this is wonderful. And this is GOOD.

However, I think Christians neglect to look at the other side of this whole plan-for-our-lives thing. Satan also has a plan for our lives. Satan is also working hard in our lives, and Satan can also do some pretty amazing (in a very different way from the kind of amazing we relate to God, of course) things. 1 Peter 5:8 describes Satan's work by saying:
Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
And just three chapters into the Bible (Genesis 3:1-7), we see Satan already prowling around, already influencing and corrupting and speaking lies to the first woman.
Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”“You will not surely die,” the serpent said to the woman. "For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.
The serpent is described here as "crafty," which can be defined as "skillful in underhand or evil schemes; cunning; deceitful; sly." And we see that he really does exhibit these characteristics with the woman - he doesn't just come out and say "I know God said this was wrong, but I want you to do it anyway." No, instead, he lures the woman into a conversation and confuses and deceives her into thinking that to eat the fruit will actually enable her to better fulfill her role as helper (my new book obsession, Pure Heart, talks about this a lot). The woman got so lost in the thought of having something that would make her even better at fulfilling her role that she forgot that God had already provided her with everything she needed, and that He would not withhold something that she needed to fulfill her role as helper (how often are we guilty of this?!?). So the woman took and ate, and the man also ate, and thus was mankind's lifelong struggle sealed. Here we see that Satan makes us question whether or not God has sufficiently equipped us to do the work He has prepared for us. His tactic here does not consist of directly telling the woman, who KNEW God, to disobey Him, but instead he confuses and deceives her into thinking that God has not provided enough for her. Satan tries to trick us into believing that God is not sufficient for all of our needs, and also that He does not want what is best for His children.

Let's look at Job now (you can read it here). Here's this righteous man, who is actually described as "blameless and upright," and who "feared God and shunned evil," and Satan comes after him. Job was a threat to Satan's work, and so Satan launched his attack. I think what's awesome in this story is that we see that Satan is still subject to God's authority, even though he's Satan. Satan, many versions tell us in a footnote here, means "accuser." And that's exactly what Satan does - he stands before God and accuses Job. Now, Satan doesn't really have anything to accuse Job of - he's a good guy! - so he basically tells God that if Job wasn't so blessed, he would curse God to His face. So God gives Satan PERMISSION to do what he will with Job's possessions, family, etc. And so the story goes. Revelation 12:10 sums up this role of Satan pretty well - it says that he accuses us before God day and night! Now, I would definitely say that in addition to standing before God and accusing us, Satan accuses us to our own faces. Fortunately we know that God is never going to be swayed by Satan to see us as anything other than what we are - bought and saved by the blood of Christ, but we ourselves often fall prey to his accusations. Based off of my own experience and those of some people I've talked to about this, I think the accusations Satan whispers in our ears are very often reminders of our own sins. The thing is...in a sense, he's right - these are things we are guilty of. However, that doesn't mean that we STAY guilty of them. Satan tries to trap us into false guilt, which pulls us into vicious cycles of self-loathing and insecurity, while God calls us to conviction, confession, and redemption! Once again, Satan is telling us that God is not enough...and yet we believe him!

Fortunately, God does not leave us alone in this struggle against Satan's schemes. Ephesians 6:10-18 talks about the armor of God, which is given to us so that we can resist Satan's schemes!:
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
God provides us with truth, righteousness, peace, faith, salvation, and the Spirit, that we might not be consumed by the lies and treachery of the devil. Hallelujah! This language of war and armor is no coincidence - people, we are at WAR with Satan and his followers! Let us not forget this!

I remember learning in my ninth grade doctrine class (taught by a wonderful man who changed my entire conception of who God is and what the Bible is all about, and who has since gone to be with God) about Genesis 3:15 as the protoevangelium, or "first Gospel."
"And I will put enmity   between you and the woman,   and between your offspring and hers;he will crush your head,   and you will strike his heel.”
In this verse, the entire history of mankind is summed up - there is enmity between mankind and Satan, but One (Jesus) will come who will crush Satan's head, even as Satan is crushing His heel. And so, three chapters into the Bible, we find out that we have already won the war! Praise the LORD! This certainly doesn't mean that battles against Satan aren't difficult...we've already seen that he is good at the evil he is working in the world. But how awesome to know that we have already won - that Christ has already conquered! Not only is there hope, there is certainty of our victory in Christ! Hallelujah!

Going back to Revelation 12, here are verses 9 and 10 that pretty much sum up Satan's defeat:
The great dragon was hurled down—that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him.Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say:   “Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God,   and the authority of his Christ.For the accuser of our brothers,   who accuses them before our God day and night,   has been hurled down.
I guess all this is to say....let us REJOICE that Satan has already been defeated, but also let us be on our guards for the ways that Satan tries to work in our lives. We have no room in our lives for his lies or his work or his plans. To God be the glory forever and ever! Amen.