A few scattered thoughts on Heaven...

This is actually a post that I started writing on a sticky on my computer a looooong time ago and never finished. I figured it was about time to get around to it! :)

So I've been thinking about heaven lately. Really, it mostly started over chorale tour over spring break last year. We sang a Copland arrangement of the hymn "Shall We Gather at the River?," the full text of which is:

1. Shall we gather at the river,
   Where bright angel feet have trod,
   With its crystal tide forever
   Flowing by the throne of God?
• Refrain:
  Yes, we’ll gather at the river,
  The beautiful, the beautiful river;
  Gather with the saints at the river
  That flows by the throne of God.
2. On the margin of the river,
   Washing up its silver spray,
   We will talk and worship ever,
   All the happy golden day.
3. Ere we reach the shining river,
   Lay we every burden down;
   Grace our spirits will deliver,
   And provide a robe and crown.
4. At the smiling of the river,
   Mirror of the Savior’s face,
   Saints, whom death will never sever,
   Lift their songs of saving grace.
5. Soon we’ll reach the silver river,
   Soon our pilgrimage will cease;
   Soon our happy hearts will quiver
   With the melody of peace.

Singing this so many times in Chorale, and especially at a time where I was thinking about leaving Wheaton and not seeing a lot of people for a long time, and maybe not seeing some people ever again, was really, really hard. I think I probably had tears welling up in my eyes every time we sang this song.

I have to say, I'm really excited for heaven, and this song is a good example of why. For one thing, how amazing is it to think about someday gathering at the river with all of the other Christians from all of eternity??? This means not only the people that we knew and loved on earth, but also every single other believer from the beginning of time to the end of this world. Whoa.

Singing this on tour, it just filled me with such joy that even though a separation from so many people I love was fast approaching, it was only a temporary one! One day I will see all of these people who I have come to love so dearly again and that I will NEVER BE SEPARATED FROM THEM AGAIN! And even more so, the same is true of God! When I get to heaven, I will no longer feel torn between earthly and heavenly pursuits. I will no longer struggle with how to worship God with tasks that don't really feel all that worshipful most of the time. I will no longer be in pain, or feel sorrow or shame, or shed tears (the bad kind of tears, that is......I kinda think I'm going to :') a whole lot in heaven!).

One thing that I think about heaven a LOT is that when I get there, I will no longer perform ANY activity without it being an act of worship to God. This is how we're supposed to live now, and we in our human weakness just *cannot* figure it out! And it's so frustrating!...we know with our minds that everything should be done as if for the Lord, but we just can't get our sinful selves to do this. This is one of those ways in which I feel incredibly torn (I don't know if that's the right word, but it's late) as a Christian. So it's just way exciting to me that in heaven, this will no longer be a problem. I don't know what heaven's really going to be like, but I think that there will be work there (there was work in the Garden, so why not in the City?), and it will be work (and relationships and so many other things) done in the way that we are MEANT to experience them, and that is just pretty darn exciting.

I don't really have a good conclusion for this, other than to say that I'm really really excited for heaven...and at the risk of sounding über cheesy, I'm really really excited for all of the people that I'm going to see up there and how righteous (in the sense of "in right relationship," not some hippie sort of lingo) all of my relationships are going to be. No more broken relationships...that's just too wonderful to even fathom. :')

And now, I'm tired. This has been really scattered (written as it was in small pieces over the course of several months), but oh well. Good night.

Lady Gaga...

So I haven't blogged in a while. Oops. Now that I'm...hopefully...getting this semester under control, I'm definitely going to try to be more consistent about that.

For all four of you that read this, you probably know really well that I don't wanna have kids. A lot of that is that I'm pretty much a tocophobic (check it out...I'm not the only one!). But honestly, the last few months have made me realize it's so much more than that (although seriously...childbirth is just disgusting...and unnatural...which everyone thinks I'm crazy for saying, I know...but childbirth changed as a result of sin, sooooooo it's totally not how it's supposed to be).

Anyway...a few months ago, my grandmom sent me some newsletter she gets with an article in it called "Lady Gaga and the Pornification of America" (you can read it online here). Basically it talks about how Lady Gaga (and other entertainment icons/idols) are transforming pop culture into porn culture. The article also mentions that many of Gaga's fans are young children. Gaga calls these fans her "Little Monsters," and claims to love them (and I mean, she tattooed "Little Monsters" on her forearm and tweets about them all the time, so how could she not be sincere???). I listened to Lady Gaga for a long while. I even owned a bunch of her music. Let's face it...it's REALLY catchy. But a while ago, a friend and I decided to make a pact not to listen to her anymore. And then I read this article. And now I have to say I have absolutely zero desire to listen to her anymore.

Maybe I shouldn't have this double standard, but it didn't seem super harmful to me as a 22-year old who's already pretty well grounded and has, y'know, morals, and is not very likely to fly off the deep end and start dressing and acting like a slut, to listen to Lady Gaga. But the thought of an 8-year old girl (and one is quoted in the aforementioned article) - a child - listening to Gaga's music, watching her music videos, heck, even looking at her outfits...well, honestly, it makes me sick. I could go on about this for awhile, and the damage that Gaga and others are doing to our culture, but ya'll probably don't wanna read a tome about this.

After reading this article, I was pretty het up for awhile (that's one of my new favorite phrases, I don't even know where I got it, but I think it works)...but after a few weeks kinda moved on with my life. Right now, though, I've started thinking about it again because of a book I'm reading. The book is called "Pure Heart: A Woman's Guide to Sexual Integrity," by Shellie R. Warren, and so far I LOVE it. The church needs people like Shellie to talk honestly and boldly about sexual sin (on that note, check out xxxchurch.com, an organization that Shellie is a part of that is definitely doing that...and there's also a book for men by Craig Gross, founder of the site, on sort of the same subject).

Anyway, today I was reading a chapter of Pure Heart about media and sexuality that talks about how overexposed we are to sex in today's culture. And it makes my heart hurt. Shellie quotes from a conversation she had with her mom about raising kids in today's culture. Her mom said:

"The Bible says there is nothing new under the sun, but in my day, even when you were little, if people wanted porn, they would have to go to the other side of town, be a certain age, and pay for it in a store. Now children can download it on the internet, see sex scenes on regular sitcoms, and look at nearly naked women on billboards. I don't know what I would do if I had to raise you in all of that and still have to tell you not to think about sex."

And I have to agree. I can't even begin to comprehend how I would raise a child in today's culture. The thought just hurts. This is not how it's supposed to be. I just keep coming back to that thought again and again, in all areas of life. I guess the thought of raising a young girl especially hurts (not that boys don't face tons of problems because of today's culture, but my heart particularly aches for girls dealing with all this junk). I mean...look at the magazines for women that are out there right now. Cosmo, Glamour, even Seventeen...almost every single magazine out there is telling girls and women that they're not good enough as they are. And I don't just mean giving hair and makeup advice (for the record, I subscribe to and love InStyle and I think on the whole it avoids the kind of stuff I'm talking about). These magazines constantly inundate their female readers (and anyone who ever goes to a grocery store or CVS or Walgreens) with the message that we are not beautiful enough, that we are not sexy enough, that we are not skilled enough at sex to keep our men, and that we are not wearing the right clothes, shoes, makeup, or lingerie, AND that if we take their advice, everything in our lives will be better. As if some magazine columnist can solve all of our problems. As if she even knows what sex is really REALLY meant to be. It's sickening.

I don't know what else to say. Our culture's views on sexuality are so, so, so, so, so far off base and this makes me heartsick. And I don't think the church is doing that well either (I mean...in my experience the church avoids a lot of the secular problems, but only to find its own). It's just not right. I could probably write a ton more about this subject and lots of related ones, and I'm sure I will at some point, but I've already written a lot and I don't really know where to go next anyway, so I'll close with a few more quotes. The first is from a so-called "sex expert" that Shellie Warren interviewed once. He said:

"Young men learn about sex from porn and young women learn from women's magazines. You put those two people in the dark and all you get is one big mess."

I think that sums up the current state of sexuality in our culture right now - one big mess. There is so much work to be done.

My final quote is from Proverbs 31. It talks about the wife of noble character, and it is such a far cry from what Cosmo, Lady Gaga, and Hollywood are telling us women to be:

"A wife of noble character who can find?
   She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
   and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
   all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax
   and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
   bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still dark;
   she provides food for her family
   and portions for her servant girls.
She considers a field and buys it;
   out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously;
   her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
   and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff
   and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor
   and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
   for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed;
   she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
   where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
   and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
   she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
   and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
   and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
   her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things,
   but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned,
   and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."